Is Aintree Ladies Day the most humiliating sight in sport? asks the radio blokey. Do you really want to know? Really really with an olive in the gin? YES IT BLOODY WELL IS! ALL THOSE SLAPPERS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE SUPERMODEL WITH THEIR HORRIBLE FAKE TANS AND MATALAN BAGS (ONE HAD A BAG WITH 'MATALAN' WRITTEN ON THE SIDE LMDAO). THEY LOOK ABOUT AS CLASSY AS DOG SH!T. IN EARRINGS. WHEN WILL SOME PEOPLE REALISE THAT WHEN CHEAP ATTEMPTS TO MIMIC CLASS IT NEARLY ALWAYS ENDS UP LOOKING A PROPER MESS? GO CHECK OUT THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF 'AINTREE LADIES DAY' IN BRITISH NEWSPAPER WEBSITES TO SEE FOR YOURSELF. AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU MUST EITHER HAVE THE SAME 'FASHION' SENSE (NONE) OR BE RELATED TO ONE OF THE 'LADIES'. IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE BEEN TIPPED IN GLUE AND DRAGGED THROUGH A F**KING JUMBLE SALE! DEAR ME WHAT A BLOODY STATE. 'LADIES DAY' AND NOT A LADY IN SIGHT.
* LMDOA MEANS LAUGHING MY DRUNK A$$ OFF
For the most part im a gentle, contented soul, happy to let life go on its merry way. But sometimes things happen that would test the patience of a saint (or a poet) and for these little troubles I give you Ranter the Shanter ~ Born to shant, Loves to rant! You think im cute when I get mad? Well in a minute im about to be f**king gorgeous.
Showing posts with label day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label day. Show all posts
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Monday, 27 June 2011
Mwynhauwch!
Blank faces when you read (or tried to read) that title eh? Like discovering you left the cap off last nights cider and must face over 2 litres of flat apple juice. 'Mwynhauwch' is Welsh dears, Welsh for 'enjoy'. And as its shaping up to be one of the hottest days of the year, with glorious sunshine even at 7am, your dear Ranter suggests you do just that!
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYONE MOANING THAT ITS TOO HOT AND COMPLAINING IF THE DRINKS ARE WARM! I know we Brits think we have a God given right to whine about the weather but its getting quite tiresome if truth be told.
Chilled!
Yes, the fair Ranter exists to RANT and SHANT but not about the sunshine! ARE WE MAD? WE ONLY EVER SEE THE FRIGGEN' THING FOR A TOTAL OF 3 WEEKS A YEAR, WE OUGHT TO BE EMBRACING THESE STICKY DAYS AND BALMY NIGHTS LIKE THEY WERE THE ONLY PINA COLADAS LEFT IN THE FRIDGE. THE REST OF THE TIME WE'RE ALL WRAPPED UP IN DUFFLE COATS LIKE A HERD OF TROUT ON OUR WAY TO A DRAUGHTY CHAPEL.
REJOICE! HALLELUJAH! A BLAZING SUN MEANS MORE FOLK ARE INCLINED TO PARTAKE OF ALCOHOL, NOT TO MENTION THE FAIRER SEX LIKE TO DRESS UP IN SHORT SKIRTS AND CLEAVAGE REVEALING TOPS. (Actually that should be 'dressing down').
SO GET THEE OUTSIDE AND SIZZLE LIKE BACON AND GUZZLE AND OGLE UNTIL YOUR HEARTS (AND EYES) BE FILLED!!
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYONE MOANING THAT ITS TOO HOT AND COMPLAINING IF THE DRINKS ARE WARM! I know we Brits think we have a God given right to whine about the weather but its getting quite tiresome if truth be told.
Chilled!Yes, the fair Ranter exists to RANT and SHANT but not about the sunshine! ARE WE MAD? WE ONLY EVER SEE THE FRIGGEN' THING FOR A TOTAL OF 3 WEEKS A YEAR, WE OUGHT TO BE EMBRACING THESE STICKY DAYS AND BALMY NIGHTS LIKE THEY WERE THE ONLY PINA COLADAS LEFT IN THE FRIDGE. THE REST OF THE TIME WE'RE ALL WRAPPED UP IN DUFFLE COATS LIKE A HERD OF TROUT ON OUR WAY TO A DRAUGHTY CHAPEL.
REJOICE! HALLELUJAH! A BLAZING SUN MEANS MORE FOLK ARE INCLINED TO PARTAKE OF ALCOHOL, NOT TO MENTION THE FAIRER SEX LIKE TO DRESS UP IN SHORT SKIRTS AND CLEAVAGE REVEALING TOPS. (Actually that should be 'dressing down').
SO GET THEE OUTSIDE AND SIZZLE LIKE BACON AND GUZZLE AND OGLE UNTIL YOUR HEARTS (AND EYES) BE FILLED!!
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