Everyone and their shot glass knows that Wimbledon is happening right now in erm...Wimbledon and great! I love me a little tennis, especially when the rather lovely Serena Williams is playing so that I can ogle her fine pair of legs. (Too bad she went out earlier). Also the event is a good excuse to pour a few Pimm's and lay about on the chez lounge like Cliff Richard's boozier twin.
Just one thing; WHY IN THE NAME OF BJORN BORG'S ODOUR EATERS HAVE THE BBC GOT TIM 'NEVER WON A CABBAGE' HENMAN COMMENTATING ON MATCHES? HE HASN'T WON ANYTHING IMPORTANT AND REPEATEDLY FAILED AT WIMBLEDON. 'HENMAN HILL' MY DRUNKEN ASS! HE CAN SPOUT ALL THE TECHNICAL ADVICE ON THE SPORT IN A BBC STUDIO ALL HE WANTS, HE DIDN'T PUT ANY OF IT TO USE WHEN HE PLAYED.
AND HAS THERE EVER BEEN A MORE BORING ATHLETE? LITTLE TIMMY WOULD MAKE STEVE DAVIS LOOK LIKE IGGY POP! HE LOOKS SO SOBER, AND NOW I NEED A SHOT.
For the most part im a gentle, contented soul, happy to let life go on its merry way. But sometimes things happen that would test the patience of a saint (or a poet) and for these little troubles I give you Ranter the Shanter ~ Born to shant, Loves to rant! You think im cute when I get mad? Well in a minute im about to be f**king gorgeous.
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