Apologies my pickled brethren for my unusual silence these past few weeks. You see your dear Ranter has been moving house and was interwebz free, thus I was unable to spew my bitter bile on things that pisseth me off. (And id just like this opportunity to tell you that those people who like to move house every few years or so are insane, insane I tell you!!)
Anyway, cheats. What are they about then? Eh? The type who really boil my lager and have me running for the fridge are gaming cheats. Everywhere I go, videogame shops, internet, magazines, Facebook, yada yada, there are offers of game cheats to 'help' you get ahead in your favourite game. HELP MY SOZZLED ASS! ITS NOT F**KING 'HELP', ITS DOWNRIGHT LAZINESS AND IF YOU NEED CHEATS TO BEAT A GAME THEN YOU SHOULD GIVE YOURSELF A SLAP AND WALK AWAY FROM IT! *Drinks shot*
Now im not talking about those who genuinely get stuck on a fiendish level after they've attempted to overcome it by not using cheats. Hell we ALL do that and anyone who has played Ghosts n' Goblins will know what I mean.
IM SPEAKING OF THOSE CRETINOUS TYPES WHO IMMEDIATELY AFTER STARTING A GAME, INPUT A CHEAT IN ORDER FOR THEM TO GAIN ALL THE GOODIES THEN SIT BACK WITH A SMUG GRIN ON THEIR HORRIBLE FACES! A POX ON THEM ALL, I HOPE THEY ALL GET AWFUL HANGOVERS EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T DRINK. WHY DO IT? WHAT IS THE POINT OF BOOTING UP A NEW GAME THEN ACHIEVING EVERYTHING VIA CHEAT CODES? ITS NOT CLEVER YOU PUNY MINDED SOULS! HOW CAN YOU FEEL A SENSE OF TRIUMPH IF YOU'VE CHEATED? YOU UTTERLY FALSE BA$TARDS! STICK TO LEGO OR PLAY DOH. *Drinks shot*
For the most part im a gentle, contented soul, happy to let life go on its merry way. But sometimes things happen that would test the patience of a saint (or a poet) and for these little troubles I give you Ranter the Shanter ~ Born to shant, Loves to rant! You think im cute when I get mad? Well in a minute im about to be f**king gorgeous.
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