Medal Of Nukem!

Knoxed Out!

That's HOT!

Having been there I didn't see anything in Europe that I would care to see again." ROLLING EYEBALLS

When I hear garbage like this, I KNOW STRAIGHT AWAY THAT THE AUTHOR IS AN IMBECILE AND TROLL, AND A LIAR! YOU OUGHT TO HAVE KEPT YER PENCIL SHEATHED YOU INFINITE PRANNET! The wonderful sprawls of Greece. Venice. Swiss Alps. Handsome Stratford Upon Avon, home of Shakespeare! The breathtaking wild coast of Wales. The history! Methinks you have not thought this through!
And nice though it is, America has NOTHING to compare with Europe and Great Britain's two thousand plus years of history. For f**ks sake, Italy was civilized while most of the rest of us here were praying to ale and using cabbage for money!
YOU WANT NOT TO TRAVEL HERE? BELIEVE ME, ITS JOLLY WELL FINE BY US!

Gideon the Gid

So Gideon Osborne has vowed to help people "work hard and get on" on this Budget day?

Hmmm...let us look at this Governments record shall we? NURSE! A LARGE ONE IF YOU'D BE SO KIND, IMA GONNA NEED IT!
In Blighty we have more poor people than ever before, and those who are lucky enough to find themselves working, their rights are almost non existant. Disabled folks (and not lead swingers, the GENUINE disabled) are forced to go back to what few jobs are left, owing to this foul and unfair French company ATOS (who probably cost taxpayers a fortune through courts in upheld appeals.) Highstreet stores, pubs etc closing like the Billy~O. Thousands of people in utter despair with higher utility bills, fuel, food prices, higher VAT. A struggling NHS. Food banks popping up everywhere. Heaven's to Johnnie Walker, even illegal immigrants are seemingly eager to get off this island because they are better off in third world countries!
Osborne helps us to 'get on'? Yup he certainly does ~ on the dole, debt, the rubbish heap and the endless housing lists. The Chancellor has made it 'cheaper' to drown our sorrow though by promising to scrap a 6p rise on a pint of shant. Yippee! I guess.
So does the Ranter have any ideas to solve this pickle? Well I can only suggest what almost everyone else is suggesting (besides the Government of course) and that is ~ Reduce foreign aid. Stop benefits to immigrants until they've lived here for 3 years and paid into the system for at least 2. Reduce benefits to the unemployed so that it truly does pay to graft. Oh and encourage business owners to invest in Great Britain, not scarper like startled fawns. I would also suggest we return to more Victorian type prisons, without hotel like-services as we seem to be spunking millions of quids in making lives more comfortable for those who DO NOT deserve it!
Blimey this coalition government has to be the WORST government history! A triple dip recession, our AAA rating gone, zero growth, the poorest hurt most, and more f*cking U turns than a B&Q shelf of sink stuff. Oh and our press tossed to the dogs for good measure! What a bally bellsended SHAMBLES to be in, I despair I really do. Its only the shant keeping me sane im telling ya!

And as a side note: As easy as it is for Labour to keep bitchingabout the Tories, don't forget that it was THEM that got us into this shambles. THEY who opened the flood gates to 'Europeans' taking valuable NHS resources etc etc.

Forgive Me St. Patrick

Pair of Tw@ts

LOOK AT THOSE TWO F**KING COCKS UP THERE!
I HATE THOSE PLASTIC FOOLS WHO CELEBRATE SAINT PATRICKS DAY LIKE THEY'VE LIVED IN IRELAND ALL THEIR LIVES! AND ITS USUALLY (AND SOME WOULD SAY TYPICALLY) THE AMERICANS WHO ARE GUILTY OF IT. IT PROPER BLOODY WINDS ME UP! I MEAN WHAT TE F*CK??! THE REST OF THE SODDING YEAR THEY COULDN'T GIVE A SHYTE ABOUT IRELAND! FAKE TOSSERS! GET THE F*CK OUT OF IT YOU D!CKS!!
DANCING AROUND LIKE UNCOORDINATED HIPPOS, GUZZLING GREEN BEER AND WEARING IDIOTIC LEPRECHAUN OUTFITS. JUST PIZZ OFF! AND TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, 99% HAVE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO IRELAND! WHAT A JOKE. A BAD ONE, A REALLY REALLY BAD ONE! AND WHAT ABOUT THOSE MISERABLE "AMERICAN BY BIRTH, IRISH BY THE GRACE OF GOD" TEE SHIRTS EH? FOR THE LOVE OF THE HOLY GUINNESS, IM GLAD IM NOT IRISH BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE THE KICKER FOR ME! FACE IT, YOU WERE BORN IN BOSTON, YOU ARE NOT IRISH. GREAT GREAT GRANNY MIGHT HAVE BEEN BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE! IT WOULDN'T GIVE ME THE ARSE IF FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR THEY WEREN'T SO DAMNED PATRIOTIC AND DINT SEEM TO HATE BRITS/IRISH SO.
YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHY IM SO ANNOYED/ANGRY? IM WELSH, A CELT LIKE MY IRISH BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND SEEING FELLOW CELTS BEING MADE INTO GROTESQUE CARICATURES IS SOOOO GALLING THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO SPIT CRABS!

Oscars the Potter

NOW HULK IS MAD !!

"I gave up on the Oscars when the Harry Potter franchise won nothing."

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa *coughs* HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa !!!!!

Was that meant to be a joke? This foolish comment hath shaken and stirred the Ranter from his fried chicken and cider strewn pit! Harry F**king Potter ??! Oh my days, you so funny. A speccy magic kid in a robe? F**k Off! Thou caluminous reeling-ripe haggard! Thou cullionly earth-vexing moldwarp! (And cheers to Shakespeare for those.) The boy wizard is Crap Supreme! A Supreme turd in life's punch bowl, and deserving of a damn good kicking should he ever decide to show his sh!tness in my Peanut Bar! Oscars my azz, that franchise isn't worth a w@nk of cabbages!
And okay I admit ive never read the books or seen the films but I don't need eat a sperm lasagne to know that it would taste rank. Good Lord, I need another drink of summat strong. Nurse!

Lets read it again: "I gave up on the Oscars when the Harry Potter franchise won nothing."

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

HaHaHaHaHaHa

HaHaHaHa

HaHaHa

Xmas Pit Stop, By Jove!

Do Not Mix!

Ah something I cant rant about! Was stopped in the run up to Christmas by the Police who were o the hunt for those who had been at the sherbet before getting behind the wheel of a car. Naughty naughty! Was a cunning plan by them too because we were stopped on a sunday morning coming from the old carboot sale, they were evidently looking for those plebs fool enough to drive after a skinful on the saturday. Anyway good for the cops sez I! Hope they caught a few. In the photo above is part of the breathalyser tube they give to you after you give them a blow (ooer!) so I thought id be 'arty' and include it in a piccy with some 10% vol cola shotz. Nurse!!

Christmas Court!

A Swansea 'Christmas list' at court today that's very sad to read: thefts, assaults, drink driving; burglaries, harassment, possessing weed.
If these are repeat offenders, take them out back and shoot them. These types only ever cost society and its kinder getting rid. I mean the hardcore persistent offenders here. They'll never reform, they just take advantage of the bleeding hearts and continue making life a misery for others.