Angry Birdies

an Angry Bird yesterday

F**K ME, THAT 'ANGRY BIRDS' GAME IS GOOD! IM NEW TO iPHONE (LONG STORY, PULL UP A BAR STOOL) BUT SINCE ANGRY IS MY MIDDLE NAME (JUST BEFORE 'THE SHANTER') AND BIRDS ARE COOL, THIS WAS AN OBVIOUS DOWNLOAD. AND ITS AS ADDICTIVE AS DRINKING ABSINTHE WHILST STARING AT SERENA WILLIAMS' LEGS! FOR FELLOW NEWBIES, ALL YOU DO IS USE A CATAPULT TO LAUNCH DIFFERENT BIRDIES AT BUILDINGS AND PIGS (THE BACON MACHINES HAVE NICKED EGGS OR SOMETHING) AND THATS IT! ANGRY F**KING BIRDS! THE SHANTERS NEW PETS!

Aintree 'Ladies' Day

Is Aintree Ladies Day the most humiliating sight in sport? asks the radio blokey. Do you really want to know? Really really with an olive in the gin? YES IT BLOODY WELL IS! ALL THOSE SLAPPERS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE SUPERMODEL WITH THEIR HORRIBLE FAKE TANS AND MATALAN BAGS (ONE HAD A BAG WITH 'MATALAN' WRITTEN ON THE SIDE LMDAO). THEY LOOK ABOUT AS CLASSY AS DOG SH!T. IN EARRINGS. WHEN WILL SOME PEOPLE REALISE THAT WHEN CHEAP ATTEMPTS TO MIMIC CLASS IT NEARLY ALWAYS ENDS UP LOOKING A PROPER MESS? GO CHECK OUT THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF 'AINTREE LADIES DAY' IN BRITISH NEWSPAPER WEBSITES TO SEE FOR YOURSELF. AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME YOU MUST EITHER HAVE THE SAME 'FASHION' SENSE (NONE) OR BE RELATED TO ONE OF THE 'LADIES'. IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'VE BEEN TIPPED IN GLUE AND DRAGGED THROUGH A F**KING JUMBLE SALE! DEAR ME WHAT A BLOODY STATE. 'LADIES DAY' AND NOT A LADY IN SIGHT.

* LMDOA MEANS LAUGHING MY DRUNK A$$ OFF