Happy St Patrick's Day

HAPPY St PATRICK'S DAY TO ONE AND TO ALL, AND MAY THE LUCK OF THE IRISH BE WITH YOU ALWAYS!! AND FOR ONCE THERE IS NO RANT.
Ireland is a fantastic place and they dearly love a tipple or six as much as the Ranter does. I have been there many, many times and never had a bad trip. The people are as friendly as they are reknowned for and as I always say, "If You Can't Make Me Welsh, Then Make Me Irish!"
I also find it slightly amusing that in the good ol' US of A, a lot of Americans claim to be 100% Irish on the 17th March. Funny because for the other 364 days they are 100% American. And please no history lessons, im aware of the fact that thousands of Irish (and Welsh) shipped themselves over to the United States, im only having some friendy fun here. Who WOULDN'T want to be Irish or Welsh?
SO NOW EAT A HEARTY BREAKFAST AND PREPARE THY LIVER, THERE BE SERIOUS DRINKING TO BE DONE! HAPPY St PADDY'S DAY!! SLAINTE!

Welsh, Lets Have It!

WHY THE F**K DO LOCAL RADIO STATIONS LIKE CARMARTHENSHIRE RADIO EMPLOY IDIOTS WHO CANNOT PRONOUNCE WELSH PLACE NAMES? LISTENING TO IT EARLIER I WAS GRIMACING AS SOME STUPID WOMAN ADVERTISING A LOCAL RESTRAUNT SCREWED UP THE NAME! GET A WELSH PERSON OR SPEAKER TO DO IT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN SOMEWHERE LIKE GREECE OR ITALY.
Also while im at it why do all the people who feature in the adverts have bloody english sounding accents? WE ARE IN WALES! CYMRU! THE LAND OF OUR FATHERS! GET A CYMRO TO DO IT. ENGLISH IS PAINFUL TO MY EARS.

I Found Wally!

So some guy who calls himself 50 Cent (CRAP NAME BY THE WAY) has been mocking Japan's earthquake victims on Twitter. What a man eh? What a great guy! WHAT A F**KING PRIZE CHUMP!! SERIOUSLY THIS WALLY NEEDS TO BE TAKEN OUT TO THE COURTYARD AND FLOGGED SAUDI STYLE. PATHETIC ODIOUS WORM THAT HE IS!
Im not going to repeat what he said but he later wrote: "Some of my tweets are for shock value. Hate it or love it. I'm cool."
COOL?! EXCUSE ME, DID WE JUST HAVE RETARD LASAGNE FOR DINNER? YOU WOULDN'T RECOGNISE COOL IF IT WALKED UP TO YOUR UGLY ASS AND SAID, 'HI IM MR COOL.' BUT MR COOL WOULDN'T INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO YOU BECAUSE YOU...ARE NOT.

Clap hands fool

Hundreds of people have DIED you toad! And countless others have had their lives RUINED in this disaster. But you don't give a sh!t do you Mr Cent? You live in some vile ivory palace trying to pass yourself off as some kind of 'king' with nasty assed jewelery, making puke inducing sounds. (I won't call it music or creating as you do neither you clown.)
And what is sadder is some of your fans (they must be deaf) will support you by saying garbage like, 'he's only being controversial, he's a rapper, thats what they do.'
NO! WHAT THIS TURD IS IS A MORON OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. IVE GOT A PRETTY DARK SENSE OF HUMOUR BUT EVEN I WOULDN'T GO HERE. I DON'T CARE A FIG ABOUT 'SHOCK VALUE' OR ANYTHING ELSE THIS FOOL SPOUTS. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO CAUSE SHOCK AND OUTRAGE. THIS WAS A CHEAP SHOT, NOT CLEVER AT ALL.
Now seeing as I hadn't taken any interest in this monkey I did some research on Mr Cent. It seems you are all about the money. You think money elevates your status in some warped way. Well good, hope you are happy with it because you will NEVER HAVE THE TRULY GREAT THINGS LIKE HONOUR, DIGNITY, HONESTY AND DECENCY. NOW CRAWL BACK INTO YOU BLINGED UP HOLE AND DIE.
Oh and rap music F**KING SUCKS.

P.S. Nate Dogg has died today who I believe was a friend of the Cent. WHO IS LAUGHING NOW FUN BOY?

UF Yaaaawn !!

It seems NASA has found 'evidence' of alien life. Excuse me while I attempt to summon up enough excitement to get through this rant. *Takes Swig of Jag* Does anyone really f**king care anymore? I mean REALLY REALLY CARE like its the last bottle in the chiller?
I'll be honest, I couldn't care less because as my new website 'A Bomb In Nations' proves, there are more interesting things here on earth and under our feet than in bluddi space. I find space as dull as dishwater.


Welcome To The Sky

I couldn't give a squirrel's nutty fart if NASA discovered an entire planet teeming with life. (Unless they somehow have better booze than Jagermeister.) We haven't even got anywhere close to discovering what the oceans have to offer, never mind f**king Pluto or Jupiter. 'Ooh look! That planet has pretty rings spinning around it!' OH GO BOIL YOUR HEAD YOU NINNIES! Gee wilikins.
You hear of morons...sorry people, spending entire nights looking up at the sky with a telescope in the hope of seeing something, ANYTHING out of the ordinary. GO GET LAID OR DRUNK YOU HIPPIES! THERE IS F**K ALL OUT THERE.
And even if there is, WTF are we going to do about it? Probably bomb them to kingdom come, thats what.
Actually, I take some of that back. I DON'T think we are alone in this universe but in the same breath I also believe that whatever is joyriding through the Milky Way they have no interest in us because if they DO then it means they are as bored as we are.
NOW PLEASE, PUT DOWN THAT SCOPE AND CRACK OPEN A BEER OR TWELVE AND COME SIT WITH ME AND LET US SPEAK OF BUNYIPS AND PIG WOMEN.

Keep Yer Snout OUT !!

I read somewhere (can't remember where exactly because the interwebz is just too frikken' BIG) that a woman somewhere has spent £32,000 on her daughters 16th birthday party and the poor lady has received a lot of abuse from others telling her its too much for a teenage party and that she ought to have given some to charity!?! HOLY F**KITY F**K F**K F**KITY! JEALOUS MUCH?
Quick newsflash folks ~ ITS HER DOSH, LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE! Maybe she already DOES give to charity. Some people are so envious and spiteful its unbelievable.


Its not attractive

Your beloved Ranter has recently become a father and Id like to see anyone try commentating on what I buy my child. 'Ooh you can't get her a Cartier watch, thats much too expensive!' 'I THINK YOU'LL FIND I BLOODY WELL CAN! NOW GET THE F**K OUTTA MY DRUNKEN FACE!
This is one of the negative sides to the webby. There are endless ways for complete strangers to spout about how they think they can live YOUR life for you. B@STARDS. IGNORE THEM.