When I first got my Google Ashole NexFail 7 (Nexus 7 in a good mood), I thought it was teh fooking buisness. Looked smart, loved the layout of the tablet, 7inches was better than 10inches (ooer missus), and most importantly of all it let me play reto games on an App that iStore wouldnt have allowed. I loved it, it made Android cool for me, when originally I was an Apple fan.
Now though? FOOK IT UP ITS CRAPPY SPACESHIPPY THEMED PLASTIC ASS! ALL THE WAY TO OUTER FUCKEDGOLIA OR WHEREVER IT NOW FEELS LIKE IT WAS MADE! WHY THE SUDDEN HATE? I HEAR YOU SHOUT FROM BEHIND THE BOXING DAY TURKEY. IT PICKED UP THAT STUPID CHARGER FAIL BUG. BASTARDOS FROM OUTER SPACE! ITS NOT JUST ME EITHER, WHILST SEARCHING FOR A FIX ONLINE IT WOULD SEEM LOADS OF OTHERS HAVE HAD IT TOO. WHAT THE SHITTING FUUUCK?!? BIG COMPANIES SHOULD NEVER MAKE ERRORS AS MINOR AS THIS ONE!
OH IVE FOUND LOTS OF 'FIXES' ON THE WEBBY BUT NONE OF THEM HAVE HELPED MINE. C**TS! HERE'S WHAT HAPENS: PLUG NEXFUCKED CRAPLET, CHARGING LOGO THINGY SHOWS UP AS DEVICE IS CHARGING, BUT ITS BLOODY WELL NOT! IN FACT THE PIECE OF SHITE GOES DOWN IN CHARGE LEVELS!?! SWEET HEAVENLY GUBBINS FROM BETSY MAYE, THIS IS GARBAGE TO ME NOW. FROM TABLET OF ACE TO ALMOST BRICKED PAPERWEIGHT. AND WHATS WORSE, WHAT REALLY BOILS MY PISS, IS ALL MY AWESOME SHITE IS ON IT! GAMES, COMICS, BOOKS, RETRO GAMES. IM SERIOUSLY PEEING BULLETS HERE!
For the most part im a gentle, contented soul, happy to let life go on its merry way. But sometimes things happen that would test the patience of a saint (or a poet) and for these little troubles I give you Ranter the Shanter ~ Born to shant, Loves to rant! You think im cute when I get mad? Well in a minute im about to be f**king gorgeous.
Wednesday 25 December 2013
Sunday 24 November 2013
OcrisHip
"Despite its ban on the trade in whale products, the EU has been allowing ships with whale meat to pass through its ports. We can help!"
I say, do you feel the same way about chickens? Im personally horrified by the millions of chickens killed for meat every day. Or arnng? meat is meat is meat so don't come it with me son. Meat eaters are ALL the same whether its dog or pork
I say, do you feel the same way about chickens? Im personally horrified by the millions of chickens killed for meat every day. Or arnng? meat is meat is meat so don't come it with me son. Meat eaters are ALL the same whether its dog or pork
Tuesday 12 November 2013
Face Of An Angel
I don't know why Amanda Knox inspires so much interest! HOLLYCRUD MAKING A MOVIE? CALLING IT THE "FACE OF AN ANGEL"????
ARE YE ALL MAD??(DONT ANSWER THAT *LAUGHS*) MEREDITH IS THE ONLY ANGEL IN THIS TRAGIC STORY. AND TO EVEN TRY TO MAKE ANYONE ELSE OUT AS 'ANGELIC' IS QUITE FRANKLY F**KING OBSCENE! JUSTICE GONE TO HELL! WHAT AN INSULT TO MEREDITH AND HER POOR FAMILY! SHAME ON THEM!
AND AS FOR FOXY KNOXY, GUILTY OR NOT HER BEHAVIOR AT THE TIME CONTRIBUTED TO THE FARCICAL INVESTIGATION, AND IN MY OPINION SHE LOOKS TO BE A VERY COLD, CALCULATING WOMAN. HER 'QUIETNESS' IS SINISTER!
MEREDITH IS THE ONLY ANGEL IN THIS TRAGIC STORY!
MEREDITH IS THE ONLY ANGEL IN THIS TRAGIC STORY!
ARE YE ALL MAD??(DONT ANSWER THAT *LAUGHS*) MEREDITH IS THE ONLY ANGEL IN THIS TRAGIC STORY. AND TO EVEN TRY TO MAKE ANYONE ELSE OUT AS 'ANGELIC' IS QUITE FRANKLY F**KING OBSCENE! JUSTICE GONE TO HELL! WHAT AN INSULT TO MEREDITH AND HER POOR FAMILY! SHAME ON THEM!
AND AS FOR FOXY KNOXY, GUILTY OR NOT HER BEHAVIOR AT THE TIME CONTRIBUTED TO THE FARCICAL INVESTIGATION, AND IN MY OPINION SHE LOOKS TO BE A VERY COLD, CALCULATING WOMAN. HER 'QUIETNESS' IS SINISTER!
MEREDITH IS THE ONLY ANGEL IN THIS TRAGIC STORY!
MEREDITH IS THE ONLY ANGEL IN THIS TRAGIC STORY!
Friday 1 November 2013
Slug-Mother Freed
Baby Peter: The world FAILED you
According to media reports (and its being confirmed as I type this), Baby P's scum-mother, has been released from prison. This is a woman who allowed her young son be tortured to death by her evil boyfriend and his equally twisted brother.
I HEREBY RENAME THIS ONCE GREAT ISLE, JOKE BRITAIN, WHERE ONLY CRIMINALS AND CROOKED POLITICIANS WIN! THE DECENT, HARD WORKING AMONG US ARE LEFT TO FESTER, AND WATCH OPEN MOUTHED AND SEETHING AS TIME AND TIME AGAIN, THE SICK AND THE LAWLESS TRIUMPH. WOE IS US! DECENCY STANDS FOR NOTHING THESE DAYS, LITTLE WONDER TO ME THAT HOPE IS DWINDLING! GOOD PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN SICK TO THE BACK TEETH OF SICKO CRIMINALS WINNING AT EVERY TURN! WHAT GOOD IS HONESTY IF ITS NEVER REWARDED?
THIS VILE PIG-WOMAN SERVED AROUND THREE YEARS FOR HER PART IN THE DEATH OF HER SON. THREE F**KING YEARS!?! FOR BEING INVOLVED IN THE MURDER OF A CHILD! YOU GET A HEAVIER SENTENCE FOR MUCH LESSER CRIMES IN THIS COUNTRY! I DESPAIR, I REALLY BLOODY DO. AND TO RUB SALT INTO ALREADY RAW WOUNDS, THIS WRETCHED SLUG-BITCH WANTS TO FIGHT FOR HER RIGHT TO HAVE MORE CHILDREN! WHAT IN THE UNHOLY F**KNESS??! THE EUROPEAN COURTS WILL LISTEN TO HER ARGUMENTS TOO! OH AND THE SACKED CHILD PROTECTION BOSS WHOSE DEPARTMENT FAILED BABY PETER IS SET TO RECEIVE £700,000 FOR UNFAIR DISMISSAL!!?
WHERE IS THIS MADNESS GOING TO END? I SHUDDER TO THINK. ALL FAITH IN ANYTHING GOOD HAS GONE, DISAPPEARED DOWN A SEWER, FLUSHED BY POLTICAL CORRECTNESS AND LIBERAL MILK MINDED IDEAS. TWITS. I HOPE THEY ARE PLEASED WITH THEIR DIM F**KERY.
SO ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM CONNELLY, YOU TWISTED BAG OF SHITE. CARRY ON WITH YOUR LIFE AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. NO BLAME LIES AT YOUR DOOR, YOU ARE A VICTIM ALSO. OR THIS IS WHAT THE DO-GOODER, YOGHURT KNITTERS WOULD HAVE US ALL BELIEVE. RANCID PESTS! IN A PERFECT WORLD YOU WOULD BE HANGING YOUR HEADS IN UTTER SHAME. AND CONNELLY AND HER EVIL CRONIES, HANGING FROM THE nearest GALLOWS.
GOOD DAY, PASS THE GIN, AND MAKE IT STRONG!
Sunday 27 October 2013
The Shame Factor
I would never watch it because im not a simpleton but as some presenter just said on LBC radio, its come to something, when a show like X Factor has to rely on a near naked retarded singer to get more viewers. Do you realise how desperate its all become? And the ones on my friends 'social media' list who watch this turgid mess: whats wrong with you? Give thyselves a good hard slap from your dear Ranter. By golly you need one.
Its FU**ING GARBAGE. Every 'singer' who wins is forgotten within 6 months. You will never find a Bowie or Jagger on that show. So its a waste of time. Only idiots waste their time.
Still, I suppose its better than letting you play with sharp objects.
Its FU**ING GARBAGE. Every 'singer' who wins is forgotten within 6 months. You will never find a Bowie or Jagger on that show. So its a waste of time. Only idiots waste their time.
Still, I suppose its better than letting you play with sharp objects.
Thursday 1 August 2013
Two Tons of Scum
Daniel Pelka. God rest your wee soul. A four years old lad who was systematically starved under the noses of his teachers and health professionals. AND BY F**K HIS WASTER PARENTS BETTER GET A WHOLE LIFE SENTENCE LATER FOR HIS ABUSE AND MURDER. VILE SCUM. AND EVEN IF BRITAIN STILL HANGED CRIMINALS, I WOULDN'T WANT THIS PAIR OF EVIL C**TS GETTING IT. WHY? FAR TOO EASY, ONCE DEAD YOUR SUFFERING IS OVER AND I WANT THESE TWO SUFFERING GREATLY EVERY DAY FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. LIVING IN FEAR FROM OTHER INMATES, WHO DESPITE OF SEGREGATION CAN STILL BE GOT AT, NEVER WORRY ABOUT THAT.
IM RAGING OVER THIS! EVERYONE IT SEEMS FAILED POOR DANIEL, TEACHERS, SOCIAL WORKERS, EVERYONE. LEFT AT THE MERCY OF EVIL PEOPLE WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIS PROTECTORS BUT INSTEAD MADE HIS SHORT LIFE A LIVING HELL. THAT POOR BOY AND MAY EVERYONE WHO FAILED HIM BE SHREDDED BY GUILT FROM NOW UNTIL DOOMSDAY, THE WRETCHED F**KERS!
IM RAGING OVER THIS! EVERYONE IT SEEMS FAILED POOR DANIEL, TEACHERS, SOCIAL WORKERS, EVERYONE. LEFT AT THE MERCY OF EVIL PEOPLE WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIS PROTECTORS BUT INSTEAD MADE HIS SHORT LIFE A LIVING HELL. THAT POOR BOY AND MAY EVERYONE WHO FAILED HIM BE SHREDDED BY GUILT FROM NOW UNTIL DOOMSDAY, THE WRETCHED F**KERS!
Thursday 11 July 2013
HRH Shidbert Fandangle
Hallo hallo, what? Hic! I was going to give this a giant messy miss but whaddaya know? F**k it, ima join in and predict this new Royal sprogs name. Im not interested in the slightest, just bored outta my razz'd skull and I reckon these names ive come up with are really rather ACE, so here goes...NURSE *Pours Drink*
1. Shidbert Fandangle
2. Blootie Gurten Thamcunster III
3. Heyho Giddenthink Funjafix
4. Sheik Alleh Alleh MacBastuud
5. Shadonay Graspafit Le Spinkwaddle
6. Walter Curmidgeon
7. Kenklehawke Spudtwanger Jones
8. Fudday Pinkspitt Helsunka Proone
9. Gretchen Cocklewacker
10. Sally Moses DeMumps
11. Flintlock Alabasta Fannaybaster
12. Doggshuten Makrogunk
Well? What dost thou thinkest my crib full of kitty cats?
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