The Ranter cannot take hearing of any more RUBBISH names for bands. Day after day of advertising local gigs through another alter ego elsewhere on the web have finally snapped me like a cocktail stick left in rum too long. I find it hard to believe that many successful bands have God awful names because I am of the opinion that the bands name is paramount to contributing to its success.
Still, if musicians heed this blog the sh!tty names could be a thing of the past. (But dont hold your breath.) You see dear inebriate, besides from RANTING and SHANTING (shanting by the way is West Wales slang for drinking) I am also a poet, writer, playwright and dabbling photographer. Im a pretty creative guy when I put my well toned ass in gear so im offering my services to any budding Motley Crue or Cannibal Corpse out there, COME TO YOUR RANTER AND I WILL BLESS THEE WITH A BAND NAME WORTHY TO FILL THE MILLENNIUM STADIUM IN CARDIFF !!
Seriously. During quiet moments of composing great poems I often conjure up cool names for non existent bands. Be a pity to waste them. (And believe me, they ARE very good.) So drop the Ranter a line, it will only cost you a few Jagerbombs. See you at the stadium!
For the most part im a gentle, contented soul, happy to let life go on its merry way. But sometimes things happen that would test the patience of a saint (or a poet) and for these little troubles I give you Ranter the Shanter ~ Born to shant, Loves to rant! You think im cute when I get mad? Well in a minute im about to be f**king gorgeous.
Showing posts with label bands. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bands. Show all posts
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Monday, 24 January 2011
At Least TRY!
Reading the line up to this years Download festival something has occurred to me as I pour my whisky ~ WHY THE F**K DON'T BANDS PUT MORE EFFORT INTO FINDING A DECENT NAME?? (Not just Metal bands by the way.) I mean you're supposed to be up there, lighting up arenas, the least you could bloody well do is have a pretty spiffing name blazing away in the background!
Heres a few names at the 2011 festival: Clutch, The Cult, The Damned Things, FM, Hollywood Undead, Korn, Mr. Big, and Pendulum. In all that is tipsy, these band names are RUBBISH! And heres a few others (thankfully not at Download): Boyzone, Take That, Pink, The Beatles, Kaiser Chiefs and Oasis. Who thought of these monickers? A bloke in the pub?
New band name ~ The Teabags?
I know some artists believe in certain chemicals to 'expand the mind' and a lot come up with garbled (what they think to be clever) ideas to explain how their bands name came about, but in most cases the drugs must be broke. My guinea pig could devise a more cooler sounding name.
Slayer and Motley Crue got it right. Simple yet stylish and effective. Like a drunken attempt at a kiss on a woman you have always secretly fancied. (And I have a few of those over on Facebook.) The Doors and The Jam on the other hand got it wrong. Like attempting to fry a pot noodle.
And before I get asked, YES I have come up with a couple of snazzy names but im keeping them chilled in the fridge for now. Cheers!
Heres a few names at the 2011 festival: Clutch, The Cult, The Damned Things, FM, Hollywood Undead, Korn, Mr. Big, and Pendulum. In all that is tipsy, these band names are RUBBISH! And heres a few others (thankfully not at Download): Boyzone, Take That, Pink, The Beatles, Kaiser Chiefs and Oasis. Who thought of these monickers? A bloke in the pub?
New band name ~ The Teabags?
I know some artists believe in certain chemicals to 'expand the mind' and a lot come up with garbled (what they think to be clever) ideas to explain how their bands name came about, but in most cases the drugs must be broke. My guinea pig could devise a more cooler sounding name.
Slayer and Motley Crue got it right. Simple yet stylish and effective. Like a drunken attempt at a kiss on a woman you have always secretly fancied. (And I have a few of those over on Facebook.) The Doors and The Jam on the other hand got it wrong. Like attempting to fry a pot noodle.
And before I get asked, YES I have come up with a couple of snazzy names but im keeping them chilled in the fridge for now. Cheers!
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